Then What's Real?

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Far from here
at the core of my being
I sit and watch
that clarity you define
as the part of your being

I’m untouched
in the undefined silence
I see you
Yet you don’t see me

Seasons change
And spring has far gone
Yet your fragrance lingers on
telling me you don’t die
not as easy as you thought

Feelings remain the same
Memories remain untamed
All happened happened
Loss and gain are mere illusion

Then what’s real, you ask
I sit here untouched
in the undefined silence
Seeing you in me
We are real, answer I

In our own mind
In our own heart

Perhaps you are blind
perhaps I am mute
but this whole mind game won’t last

Soon we will realize
the one thing that remains
is you and I
Here and Now

Simple Steps To Shoosh Away That Dark Clouds

There are times I wake up with a bad mood and feeling lethargic. And sometimes this feeling can last for days and shift throughout the day from bored, mellow to feeling depressed. I call this kind of feeling as “Being visited by Dementor” feeling. For a slight info, Dementor are creatures in Harry Potter book that feed off human happiness, and thus cause depression and despair to anyone near them.

            Of course, letting this feelings last for days can disturb my routines. But I find that sometimes simple things like treating myself more or a change in my diet can really help to boost up the good feelings inside. Here are some other options I usually do to shoosh the dark cloud away from my head.

-Take a shower. Water is known to have healing effects on both human’s emotion and body. And sometimes, just a short refreshing shower is enough to snap me out of a bad mood.

-Unplug then go outside. Spending hours in front of the computer or TV, no matter how positive or interesting the content on the screen, can leave me feeling drain and tired. Regularly unplugging myself from technology and spend more time outside just to breathe the fresh air and enjoy the beauty of Mother Nature make me feel rejuvenated instantly.

- Exercise. A good workout can be an excellent mood booster. It also can help loosen up the body, activate the endorphins, and produce happy feeling.

-Nibble on chocolate. Experts say, one small piece of chocolate contains a pleasure-promoting, mood-regulating neuro-transmitter called phenylethylamine, which stimulates a rush of endorphins, the same compounds released during an orgasm.

-Make a cup of tea, coffee or chocolate. Not only the taste but the smells of these beverage can be therapeutic and make me feel ease and relax.

-Laugh. This is may be the simplest way to clear out the blues. I like to find something funny on the books or TV and allow myself to laugh really hard.

-Gratitude attitude. Writing down things that I feel good and thankful about usually ignite the positive feelings inside.

- Nix the negativity. Finally the most fundamental thing in boosting up moods is my thinking pattern. If I have negative thoughts racing in my mind, I will take a deep breath and choose to think a better feeling thoughts. If this can be a new habit, bad mood will no longer be a problem.  

Dream (Quotes by Paulo Coelho)

You don’t need to explain your dreams. They belong to you.

~Paulo Coelho~

My Empath Quiz Result

Took the quiz just now from this website http://empathconnection.com/
The result is kinda accurate...

You Scored as Healer
You are a Healer Empath. You take in the energy of others and transmute it. You trigger transformation in others and free trapped energy. You are capable of great healing abilities. You walk between the worlds and bring waves of healing energy with your presence. (from "The Book of Storms" by Jad Alexander at http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Empaths/)

Healer

85%

Universal

85%

Fallen Angel

80%

Artist

75%

Precog

70%

Traveler

65%

Shaman

65%

Judge

60%

It Always Takes Two To Tango

When something bad happens, like your loved one suddenly leave you, do you really think that you are a victim?

Sometimes I like to think life as a school where I learn about certain things through experience. And like any other school, there are several compulsory subjects to take. These are subjects that will aim specifically to enhance growth by experiencing pain and sufferings like illness, a breakup, job loss, and many others. And it’s very normal and common to think ourselves as victims especially because we think pain is a one way action. Take a breakup for example. A breakup often initiated by one person in a relationship and it most likely hurt the other one involved. But if we take a closer look at the problem then we will be able to say ‘it takes two to tango.’

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I myself just got out of an unhealthy long-term relationship with a guy. We were together for almost six years until one day he disappeared just like that. I remember we still talked on the phone one evening and the next day he stopped answering my calls, replying my text and until now I have no idea about his whereabouts. Four months after he left, I then decided to stop trying to reach him. Knowing that wasn’t the first time he disappeared during our 5 years together, I made up my mind that enough is enough. I couldn’t stand treated like that any longer. I thought I’d been giving him too much liberty to come and go without notice all this time. Even if it’s final, I still thought I deserved an explanation.

Since then, I spent years thinking myself as a victim of this relationship. Until one day I was able to overcome the pain, the anger and resentments then I could see this problem more objectively. Even though I still don’t know the reason why he ended the relationship like that, I’m sure I contribute something to the breakup. It could be the lack of communications, lack of understanding, or too much compromising, or anything. One thing I learn from this is, thinking myself as a victim doesn’t help at all. It was only prolong the pain and made me stuck in a rut. But when I took the responsibility and admit that I might also did something that make the other person end the relationship, I felt more empowered and I was able to pull myself together faster.

That’s life. No matter how hard you try to hold on to something, if that is never meant to be yours it won’t stay. So, yes a breakup hurts like hell especially if it’s a good relationship that gone sour. But when you get over it you’ll know the sweetness of this saying “Never be sad for what is over, just be glad that it was once yours”.

Also posted in: http://healthmad.com/mental-health/it-always-takes-two-to-tango/#ixzz1kFNPhlnd

Bring Back The Child's Confidence

Children always fascinate me. Most of the time when I forget the true inborn quality of human, I just have to look at little children. They are cheerful, full of curiosity, expressive, loud, innocence and fearless. They don’t have much worries and fears like adults. But unfortunately, I meet many parents, out of their ignorance, transmit their worries and fears to their kids and these little children can start to have worries and fears as early as the age of 3. In addition to that, it’s very common that the society want them not to make mistakes. While making mistakes is actually an important process to grow. 

Every weekend, I teach my neighbor’s little daughter to read and write for one and half hour. She’s six years old. She’s so timid, shy and very quite. In our first meetings, I needed to put extra efforts to just to communicate with her. Whenever I asked a question, she responded by nodding or shrugging. When she found difficulties in writing a word, she would just sit and stared at her paper blankly for a long time. When we tried to read a word together, I could only hear her whisper. But when I asked her to repeat after me, she would just move her lips without any sound.

Today, before starting the lesson, I decided to ask her to do some artsy. I know she likes to draw using color pencils and crayons, so this time I asked her to join me painting with acrylic paint. Her eyes got bigger when she saw piles of small color tubes on the floor. I could sense her excitement. I only taught her how to mix certain colors and let her do the rest. I let her know that she’s free to use all the brushes and paints here and she didn’t have to worry to be messy or to create something ugly. There’s no ugly art for me. Whenever she hesitated, she would look at me asking for approval if her painting was okay. And I would assure her that she could paint anything on that paper. That she’s allowed to be as creative as she could be. Then not long after she started painting, she became talkative. She asked many questions like how to make pink color or how to clean the brush or how to make a flower and why she needed water to paint, etc. It was wonderful to finally see her actively into something and to finally listen to her cute voice enthusiastically asking many things. And it didn’t stop there. During our writing and reading lessons, she spelled the words loudly and when she made mistakes, she laughed and repeated with the correct ones. We really had a good time today. The hard works and efforts got paid. And I hope she will never lose her confidence anymore.  

Read more: http://gameolosophy.com/games/bring-back-the-childs-confidence/#ixzz1kAEcuGYv

Would You Change Your...?

There are times when we just have to accept and surrender to the flow of life. Well I guess, that how life is, always flowing and changing and as part of it, like it or not we too have to live with it.

What I learn is that resisting change will not make life easier, especially if we talk about changes that actually serve us good. This reminds me of what happened to a friend years ago.

She is a mobile and successful career woman with a bit conservative way of thinking. The fact that her high education and she’d lived overseas for more than 5 years doesn’t change her way of doing certain things. One thing I remember, she had always refused to have a credit card. Not that I encourage anyone to have one but I think for people who are always on the go and who can afford having it, a credit card could be handy especially if you travel a lot. 

I remember the first time she was offered to have a credit card was when she was about to move to Denmark for 2 years job training. She refused for she was sure she could survive without that plastic money. Then years after that, which showed that indeed she had survived living without using credit card, surprisingly she asked me how and where to apply for one. When I asked why all of the sudden she wanted to have one, she said because she finally felt it would be more practical to buy flight tickets, to book a hotel, to pay medical admission and many more using a credit card. It took her perhaps 10 years to finally decide to have one.

Lately she’s been having this issue that continuously makes her considering buying a smart phone. One day she said to me she couldn’t understand why people especially her clients wanted her so much to use a Blackberry. She said she couldn’t see the biggie of using it. She’s still quite satisfied with her simple cell phone that enables her making and receiving phone calls and text messages. When I asked why she still refused to use a smart phone, she said she still didn’t feel the necessity to use it. Well, it’s all surely up to her. For me, I wouldn’t mind changing my phone, my banking method even my job as long as it's within my capacity and it supports my growth and expand my life.

When I Start Painting

 I’m not a professional or an amateur artist who has passion in painting or visual art. I’m just an ordinary person who doesn’t know much about art especially about painting techniques. When friends who happened to know more about visual art browsed my paintings and said This one looks beautiful or Your art is pretty or Hey, you have a style like those naïve paintings artists, you could expect me responding them with a thanks and big grin. It's always nice when others can appreciate your creation. And it feels good especially when they can enjoy it because to be honest, I know my painting is messy because I never learn how to paint and I paint to please myself and never thought that others would like it.

 

I started painting about one and a half year ago. I was inspired to give it a shot after I read some articles about healing with art. Started small and shy just like a new kid at school, my first piece was made out of water color pencils. Then I tried to be more adventurous by combining color pencils with oil pastels. The result was decent. I liked what I created. Then one day a friend of mine who’s also an art teacher suggested me to be more willing to experiment and express myself with those two coloring tools. She showed me how to create pretty colors by blending the oil pastels using my fingers. It was fun. It was dirty but it was fun. For months, I fell in love with this oil pastels blending and smudging on papers. I could create up to three paintings or drawings a day.  

After that, the same friend told me to try to start using acrylic paint. I felt nervous and the gremlin inside my head started to raise its voice. Do u really think u can paint that well? Do you consider yourself an artist that you think you can paint with real paint?. My friend sensed this hesitation and she laughed and said Don’t worry, I believe every body can paint. You just have to let the artist within to take charge. So there I was, bracing myself to go to the nearest art store and bought one set of acrylic paint, three different sizes of paint brush and one water color pad. I went home with a shopping bag full of artsy things and of course, enthusiasm. Like a child that ready to explore new toys, I took them out of the shopping bag and started to paint. Apparently, I enjoyed mixing and combining many colors into my paper. Without even realizing, I’ve painted more than 50 painting in a year.

There’s always the first time for everything. After getting used to paint on watercolor pad, one day I felt quiet ready to strike my brush on a canvas. Again, there’s this little voice full of bully telling me that painting on a canvas would be such a waste of money especially because I’m not a professional artist so why would I even bother buying a canvas. I should’ve felt happy enough with a paper. But I knew this words were bogus and I encouraged myself to paint on a canvas anyway. Luckily, my friend had some used canvas and she didn’t mind if I used them. And surprisingly, they were huge. So I re-painted these huge canvases white and started painting on it. And it was sooo nice. I never knew painting in a huge media could make me feel so free. The full movement of my hand, the rich amount of the paints that color whatever media I used for painting,  the strike and pressure of the brush in my hand, the whole process felt more like a dance to me. I’m satisfied and pleased. It’s not really about the painting, I guess it’s the process that makes me feel good. I think the same thing with life. It’s the journey that we enjoy, not the destination.

Oblivion

...and forgetting my true colors

I'm lost 

in the beauty

of the black and white

Travel Light

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I know nothing

about you

about me

and the stories

we created

based on the so-called

freewill 

of love

and hate

of life

and death

all was mere play

thus don't get caught

don't lose your way

it wasn't me 

that you see

that you kiss

that you long for

and it wasn't you 

that I chase

that I praise

that I long for

I know nothing

about you

about me 

and the stories

that mere play

won't be with us

when we leave

when we return

to our essence

we travel light

and become

storyless

mind-less

emotionless

selfless

Inseparable

One

and

Whole

Apakah Anda Seorang Empath ?

Diadaptasi dari Buku karangan Dr. Judith Orloff « Emotional Freedom :Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life » (Three Rivers Press, 2011)

Kaum empath adalah individu yang sangat peka, terutama terhadap emosi. Mereka mampu merasakan segalanya bahkan terkadang sampai ke titik ekstrim. Dan mereka sendiri biasanya bingung dan tidak dapat menjelaskan apa yang mereka rasakan. Kaum empath menggunakan intuisi sebagai filter dalam menjalani kehidupan di dunia ini. Pada umumnya, mereka terlahir dengan sifat memberi, matang secara spiritual dan mereka adalah pendengar yang baik. Jika Anda membutuhkan sebuah hati yang lapang, Anda bisa mendapatkannya dari seorang empath. Mereka adalah teman yang akan selalu ada di sisi Anda baik dalam suka maupun duka. Empath memiliki sifat pengasuh yang sangat tinggi.

Ciri khas seorang empath adalah bisa mengetahui sifat asli seseorang. Beberapa empath dapat mengetahui hal ini tanpa harus ikut merasakan emosi atau perasaan orang lain. Namun, biasanya kaum empath seperti saya dan banyak pasien saya lainnya, hidup seperti spons yang menyerap emosi negatif orang lain. Dan hal ini sering kali mengalahkan kemampuan kami menyerap emosi-emosi positif dan hal-hal indah lainnya. Jika kaum empath dikelilingi kedamaian dan cinta kasih, tubuh mereka dapat mengasimilasi emosi ini hingga berguna untuk kesehatan dan kesejahteraan mereka. Sebaliknya, dalam lingkungan yang sarat emosi negatif, kaum empath mudah merasa terancam dan  kelelahan. Dan secara tidak sadar, sebagai salah satu bentuk pertahanan, banyak kaum empath yang menaikkan berat badan sebagai tameng. Saat berat badan mereka lebih ringan, mereka cenderung lebih rentan terhadap emosi negatif. Hal ini juga yang menjadi salah satu pemicu timbulnya pola makan berlebihan yang saya gali di buku saya yang berjudul Positive Energy. Ditambah lagi, kepekaan kaum empath bisa meluap-luap saat menjalani suatu hubugan romantis. Oleh karena itu banyak dari mereka memilih hidup melajang karena belum mampu mengelola keunikan kepekaan ini dengan pasangannya.

Ketika empath menyerap dampak emosi negatif, mereka bisa terserang panik atau panic attack, menderita depresi, pola makan, perilaku seks serta konsumsi obat-obatan yang berlebihan, dan mereka juga dapat menderita berbagai gejala penyakit fisik yang tak terdeteksi secara medis maupun tradisional dari kelelahan hinggga agoraphobia. Karena saya sendiri adalah seorang empath, saya ingin membantu para pasien yang juga kaum empath untuk bisa mengelola kepekaan mereka agar mereka dapat hidup dengan nyaman.

Empati tak selalu harus membuat Anda merasa kewalahan. Sejak saya mulai bisa memusatkan diri dan mengalihkan perhatian dari emosi negatif orang-orang di sekitar saya, empati terus menerus membuat saya merasa lebih bebas, lebih memiliki rasa cinta kasih, vitalitas dan membuat hidup saya penuh dengan keajaiban. Untuk mencari tahu apa Anda termasuk seorang empath, silakan isi kuis di bawah ini.

KUIS: APA SAYA SEORANG EMPATH?

Tanyakan diri Anda?

• Apa saya selalu dianggap sebagai orang yang “terlalu emosional” atau terlalu sensitif?
• Jika seorang teman sedang bermasalah, apa saya juga mulai merasakan hal yang sama?
• Apa perasaan saya mudah tersakiti?
• Apa saya merasa lelah secara emosional jika berada di tengah keramaian dan apa saya memerlukan waktu untuk menyendiri untuk memulihkan diri?
• Apa syaraf-syaraf saya mudah tegang karena suara, bau atau pembicaraan yang berlebihan?
• Apa saya lebih suka jika memiliki kebebasan meninggalkan suatu acara kapanpun saya mau?
• Apa saya suka makan berlebihan untuk meredakan stress?
• Apa saya takut menjalani hubungan asmara?

Jika jawaban Anda adalah “Ya” untuk 1-3 dari pertanyaan di atas, maka Anda setidaknya memiliki karakter seorang empath. Jika jawaban Anda untuk lebih dari 3 pertanyaan di atas adalah “Ya” maka Anda telah menemukan tipe emosi Anda.

Dengan menyadari bahwa Anda adalah seorang empath, Anda telah mengambil langkah pertama untuk mengendalikan emosi Anda dan untuk berhenti tenggelam dalam emosi-emosi yang tidak diinginkan. Dengan memusatkan diri pada empati, Anda dapat meningkatkan kesejahteraan dan kualitas hubungan Anda.

Tahapan Tindakan Emosional. Cara Menemukan Keseimbangan.

Terapkan langkah-langkah berikut untuk memusatkan diri.

• Luangkan waktu untuk menyendiri dan melepaskan ketegangan emosi. Biasakan untuk rehat sebentar di sela-sela kegiatan harian Anda. Anda bisa berjalan-jalan di area kantor, merenggangkan tubuh atau keluar ruangan untuk sekedar menghirup udara segar. Rangkaian istirahat pendek ini akan mengurangi stimulasi berlebihan yang terus-menerus ada di sekitar Anda.
• Meditasi Pendek. Jika Anda merasa kwalahan karena emosi yang berlebihan, cobalah bermeditasi selama beberapa menit. Meditasi pendek dapat membantu Anda memusatkan diri agar Anda tidak menyerap energi orang lain.
• Ketahui dan hormati kebutuhan Anda sebagai seorang empath. Lindungi kepekaan Anda dengan cara:

• Jika seseorang terlalu banyak menuntut atau meminta dari Anda, Anda bisa dengan sopan mengatakan “tidak”. Anda juga tidak perlu memberikan penjelasan. Seperti kata pepatah, “Tidak adalah sebuah kalimat lengkap.”
• Jika durasi kenyamanan Anda dalam bersosialisasi adalah maksimal tiga jam – bahkan jika Anda menyukai orang-orangnya – Anda selalu boleh pergi kapanpun Anda mau.
• Jika berada di keramaian menimbulkan perasaan tidak nyaman, cobalah mengkonsumsi makanan tinggi protein sebelumnya (makanan tinggi protein dapat membantu Anda grounding atau lebih menjejak bumi). Anda juga bisa memilih untuk duduk di sudut ruangan. Hindari berdiri atau duduk di tengah-tengah atau pusat keramaian.
• Jika Anda merasa terganggu oleh aroma parfum tertentu, Anda bisa dengan sopan meminta teman Anda agar tidak memakai parfum dengan aroma tersebut saat bertemu dengan Anda. Atau jika Anda tidak bisa menghindarinya, cobalah berdiri atau duduk di dekat jendela atau Anda bisa keluar ruangan sebentar untuk menghirup udara segar.
• Jika Anda punya kecenderungan makan berlebihan untuk menghalau rasa tidak nyaman dari energi negatif yang Anda rasakan, Anda bisa bermeditasi sebentar sebelum memutuskan untuk makan. Untuk berjaga-jaga, Anda juga bisa meletakkan alas meditasi atau kursi di ruang makan supaya Anda bermeditasi dan menahan diri untuk mengemil.
• Ciptakan sebuah ruang pribadi di rumah. Dengan begitu, Anda tidak kelelahan karena merasa selalu dikelilingi anggota keluarga. (Bab 8 membahas tentang tata letak hunian nontradisional yang sesuai bagi kenyamanan seorang empath)

Seiring waktu, Anda bisa menambahkan poin-poin yang sesuai dengan pengalaman Anda ke dalam daftar ini agar Anda dapat terus mengembangkan tingkat kenyamanan Anda. Anda tak perlu menerapkan semuanya setiap kali Anda merasa terbebani secara emosi. Dengan sedikit demi sedikit menerapkan sebagian dari langkah-langkah di atas, kaum empath dapat lebih cepat merasa nyaman, aman dan dapat mengembangkan potensi mereka sepenuhnya.

sumber: http://www.drjudithorloff.com/Free-Articles/emotional-empath-EF.htm

Sacred

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Go ahead, dear

Unlock your Pandora's box

It’s about time

To release everything

To unleash all anguish

Fear not what’s inside

For it’s all yours

And just like you

It’s all sacred

Go on, my love

It’s alright

revoke all those painful memories

Call all the ghosts from the past

Bring up all the shame and guilt

Claim all the darkest deeds

let them all be heard

let them all be seen

let them all be acknowledged

with love, darling

shine on

see them with your heart

feel them with your heart

rest your mind

mute  your logic

let your ever glowing light within

shine through every one of them

then breathe

gently set them free

with your most grateful thanks

it’s alright, sweetheart

all is well

as always

Seribu Kali

Lalu untuk keseribu kalinya

Dia sebutkan namanya

Umurnya

Pekerjaannya

Status pernikahannya

Dan untuk keseribu kalinya

Dia rangkum dan ceritakan

Riwayat singkat hidupnya

Dua tahun kebelakang

Ini apa?
untuk apa ini?
tidak, dia tidak sedang menjawab wawancara kerja

Dia sedang jawabi pertanyaan

Seorang pria

Yang keseribu

Yang coba dapatkan hatinya

Jakarta, 9 januari 2012, ketika mencari belahan jiwa sudah seperti mencari kerja

Who She Is

Love,
You see this lil child
You let her laugh
and You let her cry
You let her fly
And also fall to the ground
And all her scars
You let all of them
Healed by time
And her tears
Dried by your breeze

Love,
This lil child misses her home
She knows You are watching her
She knows You feel her
All the time
In her every breath
In her every heartbeat

Love,
This lil child remembers You
She remembers how You feel
She remembers how You smell
She knows with her every being
how You are
Just like You, who knows who she really is
who always knows her very well

Love,
There's only one thing
She remembers not
That just like others
And just like You
She too is Love

Joy Is Not Selfish, Suffering Is

This is my first post in 2012. I've been absence quite a while from this blog due to some private stuff going on. Ok, I admit, it was due to small emotional disturbance that unfortunately took bigger part of my days away. Alright, it was big...it was a big, unbearable, challenging, exhausting emotional issue. So challenging that I even started to think if it might be the time to surrender to anti depressant pills.

 Anyway, apparently some friends also share the same issues these days. Some have been feeling unusually mellow, others told me they felt a bit more restless and sensitive than usual, so even though the state is milder but it's there. The restlessness has been in the air nearing the year end. As in my case, a HSP and Empath, it got worse since it was also my pms moment

I felt so overwhelmed especially because I got some deadlines to meet. So there I was, uptight and anxious and struggling my way to peace and serenity for the sake of the responsibilities at hands. But I got familiar with this pattern. I'm quite aware that whenever I'm in the state of totally sensitive in which small stimuli can easily trigger anxiety attack, universe showering me with works. So yeah, the last two months had been quite a smooth ride with no so serious emotional issues, yet with no job offers around too. In other words, I was happy but broke. But the past 2 weeks, things turned totally different. I've been not so happy, in fact, I've been feeling terrible and suddenly 3 job offers came out of the blue making me a complete busy and overwhelmed lady.

So while trying to finish all the translation and writing jobs, I discussed my problems with some friends and we all came up with one conclusion: it might be the collective anticipation and restlessness in entering 2012. It could be true or not. Whatever d cause of my emotional disturbance was, it really hit me to the ground. I couldn't stand the mood swings, the unstoppable racing thoughts, the mellowness that I thought the best way to stay calm was to stay away from as much people as I could. Yet the idea of being a loner in last days of December 2011 didn't sound fun at all. Still, deep down I really wished I could be like others, enjoying the year end together with loved ones. 

So the clock was ticking. It was nearing the year end. I really hoped I got a lil' piece of inner peace to be able to count down the time together with my family. Yet the restlessness wouldn't just go away. I was torn between the thought of spending the whole night being alone in my room to avoid more stimuli from the crowd or joining my family having fun till the count down time and celebrating the changing years.  


I usually would take the first option in similar situation. But I didn't know why that night the urge to ignore all anxiety symptoms seemed to win myself. So despite of the short breathing, the tightness in the chest, the restlessness, I decided to join my family watching this stand up comedy show on TV just 2 hours before 2012. I had a good laugh. Yet I still had the anxiety. But again the more I could enjoy myself thru the night the more I got relaxed. And suddenly I could just accept this anxiety. Suddenly even though the symptoms were still there, they didn't bother me anymore. I kinda felt I could detach from it and it wasn't a biggie anymore.

So I did the count down along with other family member. I even joined them sitting outside watching the fireworks. The cheer from the family next door made me smile. The sound of laughters made me feel one with them. I could feel the air was full of joy. And at that moment I didn't care anymore about my anxiety. All I wanted to do was savoring the moment. My heart got warm whenever I saw the fireworks bursted out in the night sky, knowing I shared the same joy with millions of people accross the nation, knowing despite all d hardships we had last year we could still stand tall and whispered hopes for better days ahead. Knowing we're all in this together.

And I felt really grateful to be able to rest my attention fully to the celebration, making the restlessness less significant. Had I let all the symptoms occupied me, I would have stayed in the room, missed the fun and selfishly only think about my sufferings. 

All About Your Heart

Mindy Gledhill, Kendra Lowe
© Blue Morph Music 2010 (BMI), Kendra Lowe (ASCAP) 

I don'tt mind your odd behavior
It's the very thing I love
If you were an ice cream flavor
You would be my favorite one


My imagination sees you
Like a painting by Van Gogh
Starry nights and bright sunflowers
Follow you where you may go

Oh, I've loved you from the start
In every single way
And more each passing day
You are brighter than the stars
Believe me when I say
It's not about your scars
It's all about your heart

You're a butterfly held captive
Small and safe in your cocoon
Go on you can take your time
Time is said to heal all wounds

Chorus

Like a lock without a key
Like a mystery without a clue
There is no me if I cannot have you

Chorus